Lil Sis turns one-year-old in a few weeks time, and I don’t know whether to feel happy or sad. Because just five minutes ago she looked like this:
 And now she looks like this:

Watching her grow up feels different from Big Sis. Maybe it’s because we’re not planning any more children (sad face) but the end of each stage feels so final now. 
It’s highly unlikely that I’ll ever hold a tiny, squirming newborn of my own again, or feel that heart-leaping thrill of their first smile, that swelling pride when they first roll over, or take their first hesitant crawl.

As each milestone is reached I feel excited, then a stab of sadness – I just want to stop time and preserve her in chubby cheeked infancy forever! My baby is nearly one year old! That’s not even really a baby anymore, is it? Technically she’ll be a toddler – her official baby days are numbered. I’m having palpitations just thinking about it.
OH doesn’t get it – he can’t wait for both girls to get older so he can do more with them. He doesn’t understand the attraction of a tiny baby who just lies in your arms, snuffling and snorting. While I could stare at a sleeping newborn for hours, utterly enraptured, he couldn’t think of anything worse. ‘They’re just a bit boring at this age,’ he shrugs.
Don’t get me wrong – I love seeing Lil Sis learning new skills (the look of joy on her face as she toddles behind her walker – gorgeous!). And after 18 months of pregnancy and caring for a newborn, it’s nice to finally be getting a bit of my own life back. 
But for every new stage we celebrate, I still can’t help but miss the one we’ve left behind.


  1. mammasaurus - August 26, 2011

    I know just how you feel, my 16 year old son picked up his GCSE results yesterday – it only seems like yesterday he was led on my bed with me one sunny morning and counted to 5 for the first time !
    I too love the new stages but always feel sad for the times passed x

  2. Katie aka @mummydaddyme - August 26, 2011

    I am exactly the same- in fact I posted a while ago about it. I think it is a common feeling in some mums- I just feel like it is going so quickly and my next dread is going back to work. In a way I am looking forward to it but part of me feels like it is the end of a massive stage- 24 hours a day with my little girl. She is just growing super quickly. xx

  3. Emma - August 26, 2011

    I know exactly how you feel and my baby is four!! Lovely pictures, even if that first one has made me incredibly broody (again!)… Emma 🙂

  4. Midlife singlemum - August 26, 2011

    I just have the one – I don’t even have the luxury of trying to improve my performance the second time round. You do feel that stab of – what is it exactly? – but I think that each stage just gets better. In 20 years time we may be writing about the tiny granchild…

  5. LagosMum - August 26, 2011

    Ahhh… I understand. Mine is 1 in a couple of weeks too. Hoping we’ll start talking about a 2nd one soon 🙂

  6. 1978rebecca - August 26, 2011

    That’s a lovely post. I thought I would feel sad when mine did things too -as we are definitely finished with making babies. Think I’m with your hubby though – I can’t wait till they’re bigger and more interesting. I can’t wait to hear what is going on in their little heads

  7. Mum2babyinsomniac - August 26, 2011

    I wrote a post so similar to this last night (photos and everything!), my little girl is nearly one too and took her first steps yesterday. I am so excited about what is to come but it is sad too that she is going to be a toddler soon and no longer a baby 🙁 x

  8. littleflowerbaby - August 27, 2011

    I know exactly how you feel – my LO is nearly 2 and I’m still trying to persuade OH about another one. Love it when they’re so kittle and need you so much!

  9. Beautiful BabyTales - December 19, 2011

    Oh just found this post and you’ve put into words exactly how i am feeling. My 2nd is now 6 months old and i don’t understand how 6 months has passed already!! Although we do not want anymore, i feel like i should have one more just to really appreciate this stage one final time rather than letting it all pass me by (without me realising it has!!) Lovely post!

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