Toddler Torture

Lucia is at an age where her behaviour is starting to become… hmmmm, how can I put this nicely… challenging. She delights in pushing the boundaries, and testing my patience. 
In a matter of seconds my well-behaved little angel can morph into a raging devil, throwing a full-blown shit fit. 
The mere mention of afternoon nap has her collapsing on the ground in a wailing, flailing bundle of arms and legs. Today she actually started crawling away from me on her hands and knees, screaming at the top of her lungs, like she was being chased by a machete waving maniac in a B-grade horror movie. 
Finally I had to dodge her Jackie Chan karate kicks, grab her round the waist, and lug her to her bedroom. No amount of cajoling would calm her down, so in the end I just had to walk away until she wore herself out screaming, and fell asleep. 

Her other party trick is spotting a ballpoint pen from 50 paces, and homing in on it like a heat-seeking missile. She then sprints off with it, and I have to chase her before she starts scribbling on the walls/my work documents/the top of my new MacBook – all of which currently bear her distinctive signature.

Can I also point out how hard it is to chase a pen-wielding toddler while simultaneously breastfeeding a newborn? (A fact that Lucia is well aware of, and uses to her full advantage.)

Even my best Supernanny techniques fail to reign in her toddler temper. ‘Do you want to sit on the Naughty Spot?’ I’ll ask in my sternest voice. ‘Yes!’ she’ll reply. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

And don’t even get me started on her latest party trick – when she sneaks off and tries to change her own poopy nappy, and just ends up smearing the crappy contents all over herself, the walls, the floor…

But then, just as she’s driving me completely bonkers, she does something adorable like this:

… and all is totally and utterly forgiven!!


  1. Second Time Mummy - September 30, 2010

    Aaah what a beautiful picture.

    I am in a similar situation with Mister A – he seems to demand my attention whenever I have Little E on the boob but he just says the sweetest things and it melts my heart when I hear him telling her how much he loves her.

    Bless them x

  2. Mummy's Little Monkey - September 30, 2010

    Second Time Mummy: Lucia is totally obsessed with the baby – so much so I can’t actually leave her alone with her, as she squishes her with cuddles and kisses!!!! I hope the infatuation lasts though – my sister and I were mortal enemies growing up!! xx

  3. Mummy Matters - October 1, 2010

    You are definitely not alone with this one. I’ve had the day from he’ll with Little Bean, it started at 6.30am with her screaming for her breakfast then refusing to eat it and so it went on. She seems constantly tired but won’t sleep. The only time that she is ‘good’ is when she is with her new baby brother but then like you I daren’t leave them together because her ‘cuddles’ generally involve her practically laying on him!

    Testing times – I’m with you!! X

  4. Second Time Mummy - October 1, 2010

    It seems like this is a common problem! Mister A has just nearly crushed Little E’s internal organs by leaning on her to give her a kiss. x

  5. Mummy Bear - October 1, 2010

    that lunchtime nap scenerio you described? well I could have written that about Little P. Its freaky how they suddenly minute a delight, having fun, the next moaning, winging, screaming and kicking! But yes, you are right, she’ll come and give me a kiss, or go and pat her baby brother and all is forgiven!

  6. 'Cross the Pond - October 3, 2010

    I have lived through this and can tell you it will get worse before it gets better. My little Cate became the devil’s spawn for about 10 months – in that time I had my son, breastfed him, moved to London and started a new life. Cate is finally mellowing but she’s still prone to kicking X or knocking him over. He’s 10 months old now and crawling/cruising. He’s also starting to fight back. I think this is just going to morph into something else I’m unprepared for! But all in all – they’re both adorable and it will pass (we may be old and retired but at least they’ll be out of the house!) Hang in there.

  7. andthenallithoughtaboutwasyou - October 4, 2010

    I am going through the exact same with Baba. Sunday was hell with him, he had a hissy fit in a garden centre because he didn’t want to walk but didn’t want me or Daddy to carry him. We ended up leaving the shop.

    He throws himself on the floor, kicks, screams, thumps, that one is lovely and is just completely out of control for a while. Then he calms and is back to his usual self. Not nice at all xx

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