How To Spot a Mummy from 50 Paces…

1: She has a HUGE handbag, literally bulging at the seams

2: Whenever she reaches inside, a musical toy is inadvertently set off
3: She refers to herself in third person – ‘Mummy said: Put that back… Now!’
4: She always has enough coins for at least one go on the Bob the Builder ride at the local shopping centre
5: Her lipglosses have long been replaced with boxes of raisins, non-spill water bottles, and cucumber sticks in little ziplock bags.
6: She automatically points out all the trains, planes, and trucks – even when her kids aren’t actually with her
7: She has no idea what’s Number One in the charts anymore, but can sing all the words to Roary the Racing Car
8: When she goes to a cafe, she always cleans the table top with a wet wipe first
9: She doesn’t flinch when faced with snotty noses, body waste, or food spat into her hand from someone else’s mouth
10: She speaks in a bossy, slightly too loud voice
11: When someone calls ‘Mummy’ she always turns around
12: She NEVER wears linen or silk anymore. 
Can you think of any more????

13 Comments

  1. Jessica - July 10, 2010

    The bags under the eyes is normally a give away.

  2. monkeymummy - July 10, 2010

    She’s the one who always has a tissue when you need one and will always administer a “lick wash” when required!

  3. Want to know more? - July 10, 2010

    Hee hee I love it soooo true! I am baby free today and when I got my bag to pop in to town earlier I had to extract a nappy, baby wipes, tissues, nappy bags, baby socks, baby hat, a toy and a cup before I could leave the house!!

  4. Vivian - July 10, 2010

    So true! Whenever anyone calls “mummy” I look around, Ive been doing that for twenty four years!! :)

  5. @jencull (jen) - July 10, 2010

    A Mummy finds herself ‘rocking’ the shopping trolley, forgetting it is not a buggy *coughs* Jen

  6. BPOTW - July 11, 2010

    Aren’t Mums wonderful!

  7. Emma - July 11, 2010

    That’s too funny!!! Chick is 7 now and I still find myself alone on the train going ‘oh look at the cows over there’!!!!! Obviously quite mad!!!

  8. Mummy's Little Monkey - July 11, 2010

    Jessica: Forget bags – I’ve got suitcases under my eyes!!

    MonkeyMummy: Ah, the old ‘Spit on a Hanky Trick!’ I swore I’d never do it to my kids, but have found myself perilously close on several occasions.

    Want To Know More? I’m always fishing handfuls of loose raisins out the bottom of mine!!

    Vivian: It’s just that instant reaction, isn’t it? I still jerk to attention when I hear a baby cry, even though my little one is nearly two now.

    Jen: Oh yes, I’ve been there and done that!!!!! And don’t you feel like a right tit when you realise what you’re doing??

  9. Cheshire Mum - July 11, 2010

    My handbag is like the poseidon adventure – Fact! I also point out the emergency services, police cars, fire engines, ambulances etc whether the children are with me or not!

  10. Mummy V - July 12, 2010

    I am in total agreement – excepting the fact that my lipglosses remain! Although Baby V is also rather fond of them so you could argue the fact that they are actually yet another of her playthings in there…

  11. 'Cross the Pond - July 13, 2010

    I find that I cannot just stand still anymore. I have to stop myself from rocking and bouncing when standing in line at the grocery, at parties, etc. I do the baby rock everywhere. I’m sure people think I need to go potty!

  12. asmallhandinmine - July 14, 2010

    Oh how I cringed at “pointing out trucks”! I shouted out the other day “Ooh look, a fire engine!” forgetting I didnt have J with me, and I got a LOT of wierd looks, made worse by the fact that I dont really look like a mummy :(
    I find things from months ago at the bottom of my handbags – nappies that are too small, an out of date fruit bar, those socks I forgot to take out to wash…

  13. Rachael (Tales from the Village) - July 22, 2010

    Oh this is so true! I point out diggers to adults in my car all the time!

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